Remembering Like it was Yesterday.

I can't believe that it has been three years since Bree and I got in the car accident. That day I will always remember and it's so hard to forget. It crosses my mind almost every time I drive through that intersection or even getting a little too close to a car. I pretty much can remember the accident like it was yesterday. I have never felt so helpless and guilty at the same time. At the time of the accident I had no idea how bad Bree's condition was and I didn't even know by the time I got to the hospital. After I had all my x-rays done my parents told me that she had to be flown to McKay D hospital in Ogden. That is when my stomach sank and I about lost it. I was so scared and all I could think of was... Did I just kill my sister... Is she going to make it.... she has kids... why wasn't it me... and my mind just kept racing and racing. I think it was that way the whole entire month of her being in the hospital. While she was unconscious I don't think I have ever felt so guilty or mad at myself in my whole life. I wanted to tell her so many things, and I did but who knows if she really heard me. Still to this day I feel so bad about the accident especially when she forgets something... I know everyone does it but when she forgets that we went to the movie and I was sitting right next to her and I have to remind her my stomach sinks and I want to cry. I don't think I will ever feel better about the situation in that matter. I hope my sister knows how sorry I am that I put her through the hardest time of her life and still experiences some of the hard times because of what happened. I have never brought it up to her in person, but I hope that she truly does forgive me and I hope she knows that I would do anything for her! Love you Bree!