Can I do this?

That was my thought pretty much all afternoon on Saturday. I am going to share my first to me embarrassing moment being a Mom. I have never felt this way but when this moment happened to me for the first time all I could think of was; What is everyone thinking of me? and that I didn't know how to take care of a crying baby.

So here it is. On Saturday my cousin Brittney had a wedding shower. My Mom, Bree, Maleaha and I all went to her shower. On the way there Maleaha decided she wasn't happy and literally scrame half the way to Malad (a good half hour)! I knew she was just tired and figured she would fall asleep on the way so I didn't pack any formula (never doing that again!) I knew my mom and sister were probably so sick of hering Miss Maleaha scream her guts out and was glad when she finally fell asleep. but when we got there she decided to wake up. she was pretty content for the first little while that we were at the shower. An hour or so later Maleaha decided to be a little stinker again and started fussing so I went inside to feed her, I knew she was a little uncomfortable because we were both sitting there sweating like pigs!! (my poor grandpa must freeze or something they said he had the heater on earlier that morning) When I get done feeding the girl she wouldn't fall asleep so I took her back outside hoping she would enjoy the fresh air. Boy was I wrong I gave her to my Aunt Jan to hold and she did not like that Idea. From then until we left and another half of the ride home Maleaha just cried and cried. I felt so awful. I couldn't do anything to calm her down and felt so helpless. She has never really been like that and I was so frustrated myself I don't think that helped her at all. I was so embarrased because I felt like I had ruiend the shower and I am sure people were wondering if I even knew what I was doing. I even started crying and just sat in a chair while other family members tried to calm Maleaha down. I don't know why but I just felt like a terrible mother and was so embarrased. My family and my cute cousin Brittney reassured me that it was ok and they didn't mind, but I am sure they were so happy to get rid of us when we left. I know that babies are the boss and they cry and do what they please, it just was my first experience feeling so overwhelmed and not being somewhere I was comfortable with. I hope one day I will read back on this memory and laugh about how dramatic I am being about it and when something even more embarrassing happens I will realize this was not that big of a deal BUT for now I am still embarrased and hoping that I can handle being a Mom in stressfull situations that I am put in.